The Ringer

Summary Courtesy of The Unofficial Captain N Homepage

Link wakes up and muses to himself about how boring Hyrule is, yet how Zelda makes it all worthwhile for him. He sees her standing outside, through his window, at an angle in which he can see her cleavage, and he whistles at her. She hmphs and walks away. Before Link can do anything else, he is attacked by Moblins who are trying to steal the Triforce of Wisdom, which he keeps guarded in his bedroom. Not surprisingly, he defeats them all, after which Zelda knocks on his door. He answers it, only to be slapped in the face for whistling at her. She then criticizes the messiness of his room, and he tells her about how the Moblins had just attacked, bragging a bit about how he did during the battle. She remarks that this is the third attack by Ganon this month, and that he is going to have to guard the Triforce more carefully. She then takes off to judge the Amateur Magicians Contest that is being held that very morning. Ganon is very angry at his Moblins for failing to get the Triforce for him. He realizes that if he wants it that badly, he’ll have to get it himself. He also knows about the Magicians Contest, but since he isn’t an amateur, he decides to disguise himself as an amateur magician and enter the contest. He rounds up 4 Stalfos to carry him on a sedan chair, and they make their way to the castle. Zelda observes the spells of each of the amateur magicians who arrive at the contest. One of them has a botanical growth spell, which unfortunately backfires and causes a tomato to explode upon Zelda. Ganon (in disguise) has just arrived, and laughs at Zelda’s predicament. He then says that he has come to enter the contest and conjures a bird, and she tells him to wait his turn. While no one is looking, he transforms the bird into a bat, who agrees to find out where the Triforce is hidden. The bat finds Link talking with Spryte and guarding the Triforce. The bat returns to Ganon to give him this news. Just at that moment, another amateur magician conjures a small lizard into Zelda’s hand. Ganon casts a spell on the lizard, which transforms into a monstrous dragon, scaring off almost everyone and trapping Zelda. Link hears her scream and leaves the Triforce unattended to save her life. He does, and she scolds him for not guarding the Triforce. Just at that moment, Spryte (who was left alone with the Triforce) screams as Ganon takes the Triforce. He then escapes on his sedan chair. Link does not believe that they can catch Ganon in time, but Zelda is more optimistic. She plants a bean and has the magician with the growing spell to cast his spell upon it, causing it to grow into a giant beanstalk. Link and Zelda catapult themselves over the castle wall with the beanstalk, and they land somewhere ahead of Ganon. Link destroys one of the Stalfos carrying Ganon’s sedan chair, and Ganon calls for extra guards. Link and Zelda notice the extra Stalfos approaching, and he gets Zelda to stand back-to-back with him, connecting his belt around them both. They then proceed to destroy all the Stalfos, but Ganon still tries to get away with the Triforce. Before he is able to do that, Link cleverly swings his sword at a bomb that was just thrown at them, and it hits Ganon, sending him to his “Evil Jar” (where all the destroyed monsters usually go and are kept), and causing the Triforce to return to Link and Zelda. Zelda now wants him to remove his belt from them, but he refuses to do so until she kisses him. She is reluctant, but agrees. But just before their lips meet, Spryte interferes and removes Link’s belt from them. Sadly, Link’s opportunity to kiss Zelda has just passed. In the meantime, Ganon is pretty ticked off about having lost his battle.